If Children Could Vote, What Promises Would Politicians Make to Them?

newz2me · Nov 3rd 2008, 06:37 PM

Something light-hearted to think about.
Hypotheticial: If politicians needed the vote of children, what kind of campaign promises would they make?

As President I will give each of you 1000 chocolate bars. My opponent will give you only 150.

Forget boring tax cuts. If I'm elected, free chocolate milk for everyone!

PSUWx · Nov 3rd 2008, 06:44 PM

Schoooooooooool's out ...for....Summer!

Schoooooooooool's out...for.....Ever!

Nov 3rd 2008, 06:50 PM

Parents who Spank? I will have police spank them!
Parents who Ground? I will have them placed under house arrest!
Parents who take away allowance? You get complete access to their bank account!

Pro · Nov 3rd 2008, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newz2me

Something light-hearted to think about.
Hypotheticial: If politicians needed the vote of children, what kind of campaign promises would they make?

As President I will give each of you 1000 chocolate bars. My opponent will give you only 150.

Forget boring tax cuts. If I'm elected, free chocolate milk for everyone!

Nahhh, those wouldn't work. As the parent of two children, I can tell you, kids think everything is free and they can have as much as they want already.

Kace · Nov 3rd 2008, 08:18 PM

Tooth Fairy Change We Can Believe In!

New York'rr · Nov 3rd 2008, 09:07 PM

Well, the Republican candidate would say, "Kids, you are responsible for your life. Nobody is going to just give you everything you want. You need to work hard and get an education, and then apply yourself. It won't always be easy, kids. Sometimes you'll get discouraged. Life isn't always fair. But I will do my best to make sure that there is opportunity, and the rule of law, and justice under law for all in this country. And I will enforce the law, to prevent anyone from benefiting by cheating the system. I won't guarantee you success and prosperity, but I will create an environment in which those goals are attainable by those who work hard."

And the Democrat candidate will say, "Kids, leave everything to me. You cannot expect to make it without my help. Life isn't ever fair. So I promise to see to it that you get a fair outcome. Nobody has the right to have more than you. Anyone who has more than you has gotten it because they stole it from you! You are not responsible for the conditions you live under. I promise to see to it that in exchange for a small contribution of your time and talent in the form of National Service, working on projects which I will assign to you, I will give you a college degree! And then we will find you a job, for all those of Job Age! And your own home. Do not bother with all that distasteful burdensome studying just to take some tests written by some guy who doesn't know you and your feelings! I will make your life easy."

These messages are what the candidates are saying to voters now, actually.

Zeke · Nov 3rd 2008, 11:41 PM

Sigonfile · Nov 3rd 2008, 11:54 PM

Santa Claus will not be comming this year because of the economic crisis.

Kace · Nov 4th 2008, 04:56 AM

Santa Claus will somehow be linked to Al Qaeda.

_Unregistered_ · Nov 4th 2008, 07:14 AM

I will Federalize Nintendo and you WILL see trucks filled NOT with Government Cheeeeze but rather with Government Wii Consoles and Games.

No child will be left without a Wii because we in Washington like the American People better when they are sitting on the sofa, eyes glued to the TV and firmly holding their Wii.

News Is Broken · Nov 4th 2008, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newz2me

Forget boring tax cuts. If I'm elected, free chocolate milk for everyone!

Hell, that'd work for me and I'm 37.

Mmmmm... Chocolate......

zeppelin42 · Nov 4th 2008, 08:39 PM

Maybe "if you vote for me, I'll turn you into a hot skanky ***** just like Brittney Spears!" and for the boys "I promise each of you a FGM172 SRAW for your bedroom and another one for school!"
-z

Nov 3rd 2008, 06:37 PM	#1
newz2me Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: State of Denial Posts: 1,197	If Children Could Vote, What Promises Would Politicians Make to Them? Something light-hearted to think about. Hypotheticial: If politicians needed the vote of children, what kind of campaign promises would they make? As President I will give each of you 1000 chocolate bars. My opponent will give you only 150. Forget boring tax cuts. If I'm elected, free chocolate milk for everyone!

Nov 3rd 2008, 08:18 PM	#5
Kace Hotter Than World 2 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Planet Posts: 30,141	Tooth Fairy Change We Can Believe In! __________________ Will rule the World for a snack

Nov 3rd 2008, 11:41 PM	#7
Zeke Open Line Veteran Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: North East Kansas Posts: 3,829	__________________ "Knowledge that does not take you beyond yourself is far worse than ignorance." -Sufi Proverb

Nov 3rd 2008, 11:54 PM	#8
Sigonfile Open Line Consultant Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Holendafence, Arizona Posts: 4,221	Santa Claus will not be comming this year because of the economic crisis. __________________ "The world will not end today because it's already tomorrow in Australia"

Nov 4th 2008, 04:56 AM	#9
Kace Hotter Than World 2 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Planet Posts: 30,141	Santa Claus will somehow be linked to Al Qaeda. __________________ Will rule the World for a snack

Nov 3rd 2008, 06:44 PM	#2
PSUWx Open Line Veteran Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Right Behind You Posts: 3,610	Schoooooooooool's out ...for....Summer! Schoooooooooool's out...for.....Ever!

Nov 3rd 2008, 06:50 PM	#3
Head Janitor Guest Posts: n/a	Parents who Spank? I will have police spank them! Parents who Ground? I will have them placed under house arrest! Parents who take away allowance? You get complete access to their bank account!

Nov 3rd 2008, 09:07 PM	#6
New York'rr Open Line Elite Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 6,312	Well, the Republican candidate would say, "Kids, you are responsible for your life. Nobody is going to just give you everything you want. You need to work hard and get an education, and then apply yourself. It won't always be easy, kids. Sometimes you'll get discouraged. Life isn't always fair. But I will do my best to make sure that there is opportunity, and the rule of law, and justice under law for all in this country. And I will enforce the law, to prevent anyone from benefiting by cheating the system. I won't guarantee you success and prosperity, but I will create an environment in which those goals are attainable by those who work hard." And the Democrat candidate will say, "Kids, leave everything to me. You cannot expect to make it without my help. Life isn't ever fair. So I promise to see to it that you get a fair outcome. Nobody has the right to have more than you. Anyone who has more than you has gotten it because they stole it from you! You are not responsible for the conditions you live under. I promise to see to it that in exchange for a small contribution of your time and talent in the form of National Service, working on projects which I will assign to you, I will give you a college degree! And then we will find you a job, for all those of Job Age! And your own home. Do not bother with all that distasteful burdensome studying just to take some tests written by some guy who doesn't know you and your feelings! I will make your life easy." These messages are what the candidates are saying to voters now, actually.

Nov 4th 2008, 07:14 AM	#10
_Unregistered_ Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 325	I will Federalize Nintendo and you WILL see trucks filled NOT with Government Cheeeeze but rather with Government Wii Consoles and Games. No child will be left without a Wii because we in Washington like the American People better when they are sitting on the sofa, eyes glued to the TV and firmly holding their Wii. __________________ "Why is it that every time I need to get somewhere, we get waylaid by jackassery?" -Dr. Thadeus Venture Last edited by _Unregistered_; Nov 4th 2008 at 10:25 AM.

Nov 4th 2008, 08:39 PM	#12
zeppelin42 Open Line Elite Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Ithaca, NY Posts: 5,284	Maybe "if you vote for me, I'll turn you into a hot skanky ***** just like Brittney Spears!" and for the boys "I promise each of you a FGM172 SRAW for your bedroom and another one for school!" -z

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