Advice: I have a kidney stone.

[east coast producer]

Anyone endure it? I'm in some pretty searing pain right now, though I'm thankfully hopped up on drugs. How bad is it going to get?

[The Fedora]

dude.

You are in my thoughts. Never had one of those and am very thankful for it. I have heard that it gets quite bad.

Good luck.

[Jane Craig]

It's not going to be fun. Had one once -- sending good thoughts. Focus on breathing and do what you can to divert yourself. I once tried to teach a class while in the grip of the pain meds. That lasted about ten minutes...

[tater]

Any idea on how you got it? It's something I'd like to avoid and I'm curious how you get them.

[22]

Had them. Unbelievable pain. I passed out in the shower. A few minutes later the pain was gone, only to return a few minutes after that. For me, a trip to the doctor (although I was considering the emergency room) and a brief stay in the hospital. I was dismissed that night. They used ultra sound to locate and crush them. I have been without trouble ever since.

For me it was not an enduring pain as you seem to describe. They told me my pain was related to them moving from my kidney to my bladder.

One of the good things... I was told by the doctor that the best way to keep them flushed out was to drink beer.

[TVShootist]

Any idea on how you got it? It's something I'd like to avoid and I'm curious how you get them.

http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/Kudiseases/pubs/stonesadults/

[Mighty Dyckerson]

Painkillers are useless. You are about to experience a pain so horrific, so unimaginable, so hellacious, so downright unbearable, you will soon find yourself pleading for the sweet relief that only Death can bring. I pray for your soul.

Do you own a hand gun? If so, load it.

[east coast producer]

From what all I've been able to read so far online, the pain I'm feeling is because it's moving around in my kidney, likely on the way to the bladder. When the stone is finally, um, being ejected from the body, is that insanely painful?

[The Fedora]

WOW...

a rare serious post by the mighty Dyck!

[HushHush]

IT's like giving birth - except you're not stuck with the stone for 18 years once it passes.

I've heard if you drink a ton of water it might help it pass quicker.

I wish I could take the pain away from you, sweetie. Is there someone at home with you right now? It might be time to call in the mom to come stay with you.

[Tripe Face]

From what all I've been able to read so far online, the pain I'm feeling is because it's moving around in my kidney, likely on the way to the bladder. When the stone is finally, um, being ejected from the body, is that insanely painful?

That depends, do you want THESE being pushed through that tiny little thing you call a penis???

http://www.herringlab.com/photos/8-M98-P2.jpg

[tater]

That depends, do you want THESE being pushed through that tiny little thing you call a penis???

http://www.herringlab.com/photos/8-M98-P2.jpg

Egad I'd hate to think what would happen if that blows up before passing.

[east coast producer]

That depends, do you want THESE being pushed through that tiny little thing you call a penis???[/IMG]

I hate you.

I hate you SO much.

[22]

In my case, the "expelling them" was not nearly as painful as them moving out of the kidneys and into the bladder. But as I said earlier, my had been crushed with ultrasound.

[HushHush]

They look like little land mines! Ouchie!

Maybe it's time to go to the doctor ECP?

[Scarlet Termite]

Ecp, it's going to hurt no matter what you do. Drinking alot of water is a very good idea. Is there any chance you could have the sonic treatment and by that I mean the doc treats you with a thingy like an ultrasound that basically smashes the kidney stone(s) into tinier pieces so that it won't be so difficult to pass them.

Hatman, Dyck is incapable of being serious. :)

[HushHush]

Hatman, Dyck is incapable of being serious. :)

That's not 100% true. :cool:

[22]

Ecp, it's going to hurt no matter what you do. Drinking alot of water is a very good idea. Is there any chance you could have the sonic treatment and by that I mean the doc treats you with a thingy like an ultrasound that basically smashes the kidney stone(s) into tinier pieces so that it won't be so difficult to pass them.

Hatman, Dyck is incapable of being serious. :)

Hello! Am I invisible today! That's what I have been saying all above.

[Tripe Face]

I hate you.

I hate you SO much.

Turns out it ain't just kidney stones that hurt... SO DOES THE TRUTH.

Seriously ECP... they've been doing lithotripty (crushing them with ultra sound so what you pee out is the size of sand grains not marbles) on kidney stones since I was a medical producer in the Bush Sr. administration ... if not longer.

Look into it, I think it would solve your problems quickly... well the kidney stone problem. The tiny dick problem... talk to Mighty D. ask how he's dealing with that issue.

[Tripe Face]

Hello! Am I invisible today! That's what I have been saying all above.

What??? Is someone there? WHO'S THERE!

[cricket chirps]

Oh, well must be my imagination... I could have sworn 22 was here somewhere.

[22]

I think I'll go pass stones.

[Roy Hobbs]

The bad part is indeed the passage downward from the kidney. If the thin tube, the ureter, gets inflamed...hoo boy..serious pain.

I went to the ER and they gave me an IV to cut the inflammation. the actual passing was easy after that point.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

It might be time to call in the mom to come stay with you.

What the hell is she going to do? Suck it out of him??

[Another OMB]

If it makes you feel any better, and less apprehensive, I had a kidney stone a few years ago and it was not as bad as most people say. I'm not doubting that theirs were painful. My stone, luckily, was relatively small, which explains why it wasn't so bad.

What surprised me the most with mine was how sick I felt, not how painful it was. It was kind of like having the flu--aching all over, sick in bed, feeling like you can't move. I had always heard about how painful they are, and that it's the closest thing to childbirth a guy will ever experience, but I didn't know that they would also make you sick.

I would definitely look into whether your stone is big enough to benefit from having it smashed by soundwaves. Mine was not, but if yours is I would definitely do that.

Good luck. We're all counting on you.

[Jane Craig]

Please keep us posted when you feel up to it, ECP!

[east coast producer]

Maybe it's time to go to the doctor ECP?

I did go yesterday. That's how I got the diagnosis and the drugs, stupid. But the guy wanted to get IMAGES and involve UROLOGISTS and MODERN MEDICINE.. in other words, he wanted my money. How do I know this? He's Jewish. He had one of those cute little hats on.

That urgent care place set me back $181 plus another $22 for the narcotics (from the FIFTH pharmacy I tried... the first four were out of stock!?! wtf?!?). I'll be damned if the medical-industrial complex gets more of my not-hard-earned cash.

If I hadn't been experiencing the most intense pain of my entire life yesterday afternoon, I'd have gone to the union health center and pay nada. But it took me nearly an hour to figure out a way to get out of bed, so I figured the closest doc is the best doc. My internet diagnosis at the time was a pinched nerve or herniated disc.

I think we'll let this ride and see how it plays out. As the greedy doc wanted me to go to a hospital for pics and I said "**** no!" there's not exactly confirmation on his diagnosis. And right now I'm just fine in my oxycodone stupor. Maybe I'll talk to a doc again when my stash runs out.

Dyck: I'm calling a party foul on your post. I did laugh, though. Which hurts. Thanks a-****in-lot!

Everyone: I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

[Scarlet Termite]

Hello! Am I invisible today! That's what I have been saying all above.


Sorry, 22! That's what I get for skimming instead of reading.

[tater]

Everyone: I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

That's good to know but you do realize you'll be passing land mines.

[HushHush]

Everyone: I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

Oh really? :wink2:

[Tripe Face]

Maybe it's time to go to the doctor ECP?

I did go yesterday. That's how I got the diagnosis and the drugs, stupid.

My aren't we grouchy. Just because you have a little owie you have to call Hush "stupid"? Suck it up, wuss.


Everyone: I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

It is comforting to know that even in pain, you can tell great jokes like that.

:worship:

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

Apparently one of the side effects of oxycodone is delusions of grandeur.

[Lazlo Toth]

My answer is Demerol.

I've had three or four. I didn't know what the first one was. The nurse diagnosed me by the way I walked as I came in the emergency room.

They gave me Demerol. Body relaxed. Kidney stone went from kidney to bladder. Peed thru a filter for a day. Captured it . How could something so small cause so much pain?

Next time, I knew what it was. Went to the ER. Said, "Give me Demerol stat!" Stat is a funny hospital word that's like PDG, snap it up, hurry the f... up!

Last time was when I was in Cuba in 1997. I knew what it was. It hurt but not so bad. Decided to wait to deal with it until I was back in the US two days later. I got back to work here and felt it had moved kidney to bladder. Problem was .. I could feel it was blocking the urinary tract. So I drank a huge amount of water and pushed out a kidney stone with the diamter of a dime and the look of a meteorite.

Since then, smooth sailing.

[sportzchick]

Holy crap! Those things are nasty looking.

Don't you have insurance that covers this kind of thing?

[Spike]

This post will be somewhat graphic. You've been warned.

Not all of them look like land mines. Those are the pictures the urologists haul out to convince people to drink more water. That doesn't mean the smoother ones don't hurt like hell.

The pain is caused in two ways. One is the irritation from the stone itself as it scrapes its way along. I actually didn't mind that as much. That was usually an urgent pain that went away fairly quickly. The other pain is when the ureter decides it doesn't want the damn things around any more and goes into spasm trying to shake them out. The spasms are what really knocked me for a loop. They hurt like hell, and they seem like they're never going to end. Imagine someone grabbing your testicle and squeezing for six or eight hours, and that's what it feels like.

DON'T try to skimp on the medical coverage to save money. It really isn't worth it. My doctor convinced me not to have the lithotripsy early on, because he said, statistically, it should pass on its own. It didn't. He considered the lithotripsy an unnecessary procedure. As a result I had the goddamned thing for three months. By then it had moved down too low to be hit with the shockwaves, so I had to have a ureteroscopy. That's where they stick a scope up your dick, blast the stone with a laser and pick out the pieces.

I woke up with a string hanging out of my dick. "What the hell is this?" I asked. It was a stent that the doctor had inserted to keep my ureter from swelling shut while I healed. The stent went from my bladder all the way up into my kidney. With the stent in, every time I urinated the stent would pull down, and it felt like someone reached into my side and squeezed my kidney as hard as they could.

At the hospital they told me to take the stent out myself three days later by pulling on the string. I'm not kidding. I did it and then was sicker than I've ever been in my life for a whole day. Pulling it out wasn't that big a deal. The stent itself was about ten inches long and looked like a swizzle stick, not something you really want to see coming out of your body, but not particularly difficult or painful to remove. But about ten minutes later the spasms started and lasted the whole day. I was so nauseated that I couldn't keep any of my pain medications down. I was worse off that day than when I initially went to the emergency room a few months earlier.

Avoid all that. Pay the money. See the specialist. Let them blast it while it's up high and they can get to it without having to put surgical instruments where they don't belong. Then be sure to pee through the strainer every time so you can take at least part of the stone to your doctor for analysis.

A couple of other notes. Oxycodone didn't do much for me except make me feel stupid. My doctor prescribed me 800mg horse pills of Ibuprofen "for light pain." I discovered that those actually worked better than the Oxycodone in ending the spasms. That may not work the same way for you, but it's something to keep in mind.

Also, don't freak out if you piss blood. It's no big deal.

I don't wish that pain on even my enemies. Don't screw around with it.

[Laughing Angel]

Wow. Nothing scarier than a cheap, mean spirited, sterotyping, name calling, anti-semite in searing pain.

Still, I hope you're feeling better soon. I wouldn't wish the kind of pain you describe on a dog.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

The stent itself was about ten inches long and looked like a swizzle stick...

A penis with its own straw?? TVMatt would have loved that.

[HushHush]

A penis with its own straw?? TVMatt would have loved that.

You are so sick sometimes .. why do I laugh at you?

[Bureau Chief]

If you look up "renal colic" on the internet...it gives you a very graphic description of what you may be up for...if one of them gets caught up in the tube on the way out. It lists it as being the most intense pain that a human is ever endured. As bad as it is with the stone in the kidney, hope and pray that once it starts its journey out, that it keeps on moving.

2 years ago I had once get caught in the tube about 3 inches from the kidney. Great way to lose weight. You will walk miles and not eat a thing until it comes out.

A word of advice...toridol is a much more effective pain killer for the urinary track than morphine...with none of the withdrawel problems. Stay away from the dark colored colas....they are a leading cause of stones....and kidney stones are becoming an occupational hazard in our business. We have now had 5 of of newsroom people get them in the last couple of years.

Ive had so many stones that they call me....the Kidney Stone Kid.

[TVMattNYC]

What the hell is she going to do? Suck it out of him??

Only you would suggest this.

[TVMattNYC]

That urgent care place set me back $181 plus another $22 for the narcotics

$203?? That's what you're whining about?

Dude. Let's talk about medical bills over $8000 when you're uninsured. THEN you'll have something to complain about.

[HushHush]

$203?? That's what you're whining about?

Dude. Let's talk about medical bills over $8000 when you're uninsured. THEN you'll have something to complain about.

I can top that ... how about when your CO-PAY tops out over $10,000? Then you can complain.

Yeah .. Shands is still waiting to see that money too .. hee hee ... and they never will!

[the original buttongod]

Been there, had those. I've had several over the past 5 or so years. Part of it, lies in how much salt you consume. The tube that connects the kidneys to the bladder is smaller than a pencil lead. The stone is not quite as big as a grain of fine beach sand. The first time I passed one, I was in such pain, my wife drove me to the ER. I passed it there, and the nurse pointed it out to me in the cup. It was SOOOO tiny, but hurt SOOO much ! All the advil in the world didn't touch it. I pity you.

[22]

After reading what you said about your doctor... Did you ever hear about that thing folks call "Karma?"

[sportzchick]

Yeah... you should listen to that Carson Daly guy when it comes to karma.

(funny thing is i typed "ever heard of karma" in my original post on this...but thought maybe that was too mean)

[Angel's Hell]

Wow! From age 15 to 26 I had stones, little ones. This was during the time they *invented* lithotripsy, but my case wasn't considered serious enough (means the damned stone wasn't that big) to use it.

My BEST memory is being on a stretcher in a clinic at UVA with the docs injecting me with morphine saying it would kill the pain. It did not. They told me I could not have any more because it would literally be an od and kill me. I stayed semi conscious for hours waiting for my emergency IVP (IVP vet here, one prepped, four emergency status). It stank because I was in horrendous pain not knowing when or if even it would stop, and then life was going on all around me. The nurses telling jokes and making noise in another room just about made me want to cry. I could not sleep.

It can get REAL bad. And the worst thing is waking up every day thinking: is this going to be the day where that damned stone will move again and I'll wind up in horrendous pain and have to leave work.... Having something that just suddenly pops up on your ass every once in a while like this is just lousy!

[east coast producer]

My aren't we grouchy. Just because you have a little owie you have to call Hush "stupid"? Suck it up, wuss.

That's just my pet name for Hushie. Sort of like yours is b1tch, b1tch!

Now go get me a beer. (It makes my drugs work better.)

Lazlo: The doc was going to pump me full of Demerol until he found out I was driving. Has he no mercy?!?

Angel, 22: Oh come on. I was kidding. I'm sure he's not greedy just because he's Jewish.

Dyck: LOL @ the penis straw.

Hush: Can you flirt any more obviously with Dyck lately?

TVMatt: Yea, but you make that $8k back every hour in fancy Manhattan.

UPDATE 4:46PM EASTERN: It still (#*#(*&$*#&$(*#$(*#&$(* $(*#&$ (*#&$ (*#&$(*#&$ (*#&$(*#&$(*#&$ *#(*&)(@!*#&#y$#&y$ uu&*&#(*&(*#$&ING HURTS!!! So when I expel this Stone of Fury, who wants me to post a pic of it???

[Angel's Hell]

I did go yesterday. That's how I got the diagnosis and the drugs, stupid. But the guy wanted to get IMAGES and involve UROLOGISTS and MODERN MEDICINE.. in other words, he wanted my money. How do I know this? He's Jewish. He had one of those cute little hats on.

That urgent care place set me back $181 plus another $22 for the narcotics (from the FIFTH pharmacy I tried... the first four were out of stock!?! wtf?!?). I'll be damned if the medical-industrial complex gets more of my not-hard-earned cash.

If I hadn't been experiencing the most intense pain of my entire life yesterday afternoon, I'd have gone to the union health center and pay nada. But it took me nearly an hour to figure out a way to get out of bed, so I figured the closest doc is the best doc. My internet diagnosis at the time was a pinched nerve or herniated disc.

I think we'll let this ride and see how it plays out. As the greedy doc wanted me to go to a hospital for pics and I said "**** no!" there's not exactly confirmation on his diagnosis. And right now I'm just fine in my oxycodone stupor. Maybe I'll talk to a doc again when my stash runs out.

Dyck: I'm calling a party foul on your post. I did laugh, though. Which hurts. Thanks a-****in-lot!

Everyone: I'll have you know my penis is so huge I could pass cantaloupes.

You realize that you can die when the kidney gets infected don't you? Death is a lot more expensive and permanent than any medical bill! Just ask any lawyer.

[Tripe Face]

That's just my pet name for Hushie. Sort of like yours is b1tch, b1tch!

Now go get me a beer. (It makes my drugs work better.)

Yea, I'll get you a beer as soon as I finish my aspargus salad and diet coke. Then I'll go get an old Miller Geniune Draft bottle and fill it up for you.

Call it Tripe Face Ale.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

This was the weird quote of the thread...


I woke up with a string hanging out of my dick. "What the hell is this?" I asked.

...until we had this late entry.
Is it really necessary to ask an attorney for an opinion?

Death is a lot more expensive and permanent than any medical bill! Just ask any lawyer.

Get better soon ECP.
And you should really have a relationship with a regular doctor instead of using those minor emergency clinics.
When I talk with my doctor she already knows my history.
We are partners in improving my health.
Just a thought.

[HushHush]

UPDATE 4:46PM EASTERN: It still (#*#(*&$*#&$(*#$(*#&$(* $(*#&$ (*#&$ (*#&$(*#&$ (*#&$(*#&$(*#&$ *#(*&)(@!*#&#y$#&y$ uu&*&#(*&(*#$&ING HURTS!!! So when I expel this Stone of Fury, who wants me to post a pic of it???

I have real tears for you buddy. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Not that it will help ... but I'm sending positive energy your way in hopes it will ease some of the pain!

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Really? I'd wish it on Prodouche Bag or Ralphie the Buffalo Chip.

[east coast producer]

Yea, I'll get you a beer as soon as I finish my aspargus salad and diet coke. Then I'll go get an old Miller Geniune Draft bottle and fill it up for you.

Call it Tripe Face Ale.

Oh I get it -- cuz you're gonna p1ss in the bottle.

Way to kick a guy when he's down.

Jerk.

No wonder Hush told me she likes me far more than you.

[east coast producer]

I can top that ... how about when your CO-PAY tops out over $10,000? Then you can complain.

You will top nothing!! This is MY thread!! MINE MINE MINE. It's for people to pity ME, not YOU. ME ME ME!!!

I'm sending positive energy your way in hopes it will ease some of the pain!

Send it to my right kidney and break that cantaloupe up!

Stay away from the dark colored colas.

I always suspected you were a soda racist!

And you should really have a relationship with a regular doctor instead of using those minor emergency clinics.

Bah, Wikipedia and overseas internet pharmacies are my doctors! Seriously though, no argument. Thing is, I'm freelance, whoring myself out to the highest bidders in local broadcast and network. The union contract with one network provides coverage once I earn so much money there, but I'm not often working for that client so I'm far from that threshold. At a broadcaster where I'm permalance, the union there agreed to eliminate health insurance for freelancers in exchange for a box of donuts or something.

Ironically, I applied for private health insurance about 2 weeks ago, but it doesn't start for about a week.

You realize that you can die when the kidney gets infected don't you? Death is a lot more expensive and permanent than any medical bill! Just ask any lawyer.

Yea, I know it can also cause kidney damage if the *&#(*$&(*$&*$ing thing is too big to move on its own. I don't have a fever, thus no infection... but if it doesn't move on its own in a day or two (or when my Percoset runs out), I will suck it up and get x-rayed and whatnot. And if that's the case, I will confirm with the doctor as to whether death is, indeed, permanent.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I'm freelance, whoring myself out to the highest bidders in local broadcast and network.

Translation: You're unemployed...AGAIN!!!

[east coast producer]

Translation: You're unemployed...AGAIN!!!

What's sad is I'm heavily drugged... and you're *still* not funny.

Also, I stole your oneliner from earlier in this thread for my signature. But you're still not funny.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I stole your oneliner from earlier in this thread for my signature.

I'm flattered...but who the hell is this [Redacted] guy you speak of??

[Spike]

2 years ago I had once get caught in the tube about 3 inches from the kidney. Great way to lose weight. You will walk miles and not eat a thing until it comes out.

A very good description. I couldn't sit still and had to pace.

A word of advice...toridol is a much more effective pain killer for the urinary track than morphine...

They shot me up three times with morphine in the emergency room with no effect on the pain (and tried to charge my insurance $150 for each shot). They finally gave me something else, which probably was toradol, that was much more effective. Same thing happened in the hospital after the ureteroscopy. Morphine? No. Toradol? Yes.

Makes me wonder why they bother with the morphine at all.

The stone is not quite as big as a grain of fine beach sand.

The hell you say. Mine was 5mm, and the doctor considered it small. 5mm is a lot bigger than a grain of sand. There was a woman in the office during one of my visits who had a 13mm stone.

You realize that you can die when the kidney gets infected don't you?

Not very likely. Kidney stones, while they hurt like hell, are rarely life-threatening.

That's part of what makes them so maddening. You go to the emergency room with the worst pain you've ever felt. The doctors and staff act all concerned. Then you get the CT scan back showing the stone, and the doctors suddenly change demeanor, act like it's no big deal and send you home with a prescription for Flomax and a strainer.

I don't have a fever, thus no infection... but if it doesn't move on its own in a day or two (or when my Percoset runs out), I will suck it up and get x-rayed and whatnot.

I hate to break this to you, but it probably won't be over in a day or two. My emergency room doctor told me it would take a few days to pass. My urologist said, "That's why she works in the emergency room and not as a urologist." As I wrote earlier, I had mine for three months before they went in and got it.

Another bit of advice, since you have insurance issues. Most urologists will automatically order CT scans to locate and image the stone rather than old-fashioned x-rays. You're talking about a difference of $800 to $1200 each scan. They don't think about the cost because they assume you have insurance and won't care. When you go to the urologist (and you will end up there whether you really want to or not), it might be in your best interest to ask about keeping the treatment cost-effective. There are times when the CT scan isn't necessary and an x-ray would work just fine.

My insurance isn't particularly good (I have high deductibles and copays), so I mentioned it to my doctor. He gave me prescription vouchers for free meds and canceled one of the CT scans he had planned. A mention of your cost concern wouldn't hurt.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

...the doctors suddenly change demeanor, act like it's no big deal and send you home with a prescription for Flomax and a strainer...


Flomax?? I thought that was a brand of Tampon or something.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

They shot me up three times with morphine in the emergency room with no effect on the pain (and tried to charge my insurance $150 for each shot). They finally gave me something else, which probably was toradol, that was much more effective. Same thing happened in the hospital after the ureteroscopy. Morphine? No. Toradol? Yes.


I will agree with Spike on this.
My wife had some health issues that caused incredible pain (worse than stones) and the only effective painkiller in the emergency room was intravenous toradol.
It is routinely given after surgery because it is also anti-inflammatory.
The problem is that it can only be used for a few days because it is very hard on your stomach.

[east coast producer]

So I'm still not entirely clear on this (and again, I'm very drugged, so I'm slower than normal): Of those of you who have experienced this, is the worst pain what I'm feeling now as it meanders around my kidney or when I p1ss it out (assuming it's not the 5-inch land mines that Tripe thoughtfully posted earlier. I hate you Tripe. I SO hate you).

On an unrelated note, if any of ya'll have friends who sell kidneys on the black market, I got one that I'll sell to you cheap.

[Spike]

The problem is that it can only be used for a few days because it is very hard on your stomach.

Yeah, like pain so bad that you even puke up water and pills is not hard on your stomach. I'd rather risk it.


Of those of you who have experienced this, is the worst pain what I'm feeling now as it meanders around my kidney or when I p1ss it out

I didn't get to find out, because mine got stuck seven centimeters below the kidney and had to be retrieved manually. However, according to my doctor, the worst pain is usually the first attack. If you manage to pass it yourself, what you're enduring now will probably be the worst pain you'll feel. That's not to say you won't have some bad days between now and then. I had a couple more spasm attacks after my first day in the hospital that kept me home from work on those days.

By the way, this is what my stent looked like. I was unconscious when they put it in. Imagine seeing that for the first time as it comes out of your body.

http://www.appliedmed.com/images/products/new%20STENT_574.jpg

[east coast producer]

However, according to my doctor, the worst pain is usually the first attack.

What do you mean by 'first attack'?

[Dap]

This sounds dreadful! What does the doctor say about medicating with scotch?

[east coast producer]

He says alcohol may intensify the effect of the Percoset. :-D :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

[Another OMB]

So I'm still not entirely clear on this (and again, I'm very drugged, so I'm slower than normal): Of those of you who have experienced this, is the worst pain what I'm feeling now as it meanders around my kidney or when I p1ss it out (assuming it's not the 5-inch land mines that Tripe thoughtfully posted earlier. I hate you Tripe. I SO hate you).

On an unrelated note, if any of ya'll have friends who sell kidneys on the black market, I got one that I'll sell to you cheap.

For me, the worst pain was what you're experiencing now, not when I passed it.

[east coast producer]

For me, the worst pain was what you're experiencing now, not when I passed it.

Awesome. That's the answer I wanted. How long did it take for u from the point God slammed a sledgehammer in your back until it passed?

[Spike]

What do you mean by 'first attack'?

First attack, as in the first attack of kidney/ureter pain. I had a few of them over the course of the first few weeks.

You have this pain. Then it subsides. You think you're okay. You're drinking lots of water, taking your Flomax and straining your urine.

Then one day the pain comes back. It's usually not as bad as the first time, but it can still keep you home from work.

For example, my big attack that put me in the emergency room happened a few days before final exams last fall. I rested through the weekend and was okay for my first couple of exams. Then the morning of my last exam, as I was doing some last minute studying in the library, I suddenly had a horrific spasm and had to run for the restroom because of nausea. I was afraid to take anything stronger than my superstrength Ibuprofen, for fear that the oxycodone would make me stupid for the exam. I was ready to grit my teeth and bear it, but that's when I discovered that the Ibuprofen actually worked better on getting the spasms to subside than oxycodone. (I didn't do very well on the exam, but I passed it and managed an A in the course.)

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Enough of the depressing medical realities, Spike.
East Coastie needs a little distraction.
A little diversion.
Sooooooo, I thought what better a wtay to ge his mind occupied than to share a little poetry.
I didn't write any of this, but its pretty good anyway.
Let's start off with something light.



Oh Kidney Stones
Oh Kidney Stones
The Greatest Pain I’ve ever known
You took me to the gates of Hell and
With your passing made me well
My triumphant victory I live to tell
Oh, Kidney Stones


Now that you're in the groove how about a little more contemplation?
This should hit the spot.


This pearl of pain
A souvenir of that purgatory
From my urologist
Grew slow as a stalagmite
in the dank, humid caverns
of my kidney.
The alchemy of gold transformed
Into a single
Inexorable
Truth:
My lone stone
Turned
Into a voweled howl.


How about a haiku, Lou?


I passed kidney stone
There was a terrible sound
I'm all better now

And now for the big finale.
It's limerick time

There once was a man named Homer
Who had a kidney stone stuck in his boner.
He did scream and shout
When they yanked that sucker out.
And his piss shot all the way to Tacoma!

[HushHush]

Ralphie - I'm pleasantly surprised to see a little nonsense from you :D

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Ralphie - I'm pleasantly surprised to see a little nonsense from you :D

I am a bad bundle of contradictions, Hush squared.
Don't try to figure me out.

[Angel's Hell]

You are such a knowledgable person, Spike, where did you go to medical school???????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????



A very good description. I couldn't sit still and had to pace.



They shot me up three times with morphine in the emergency room with no effect on the pain (and tried to charge my insurance $150 for each shot). They finally gave me something else, which probably was toradol, that was much more effective. Same thing happened in the hospital after the ureteroscopy. Morphine? No. Toradol? Yes.

Makes me wonder why they bother with the morphine at all.



The hell you say. Mine was 5mm, and the doctor considered it small. 5mm is a lot bigger than a grain of sand. There was a woman in the office during one of my visits who had a 13mm stone.



Not very likely. Kidney stones, while they hurt like hell, are rarely life-threatening.

That's part of what makes them so maddening. You go to the emergency room with the worst pain you've ever felt. The doctors and staff act all concerned. Then you get the CT scan back showing the stone, and the doctors suddenly change demeanor, act like it's no big deal and send you home with a prescription for Flomax and a strainer.



I hate to break this to you, but it probably won't be over in a day or two. My emergency room doctor told me it would take a few days to pass. My urologist said, "That's why she works in the emergency room and not as a urologist." As I wrote earlier, I had mine for three months before they went in and got it.

Another bit of advice, since you have insurance issues. Most urologists will automatically order CT scans to locate and image the stone rather than old-fashioned x-rays. You're talking about a difference of $800 to $1200 each scan. They don't think about the cost because they assume you have insurance and won't care. When you go to the urologist (and you will end up there whether you really want to or not), it might be in your best interest to ask about keeping the treatment cost-effective. There are times when the CT scan isn't necessary and an x-ray would work just fine.

My insurance isn't particularly good (I have high deductibles and copays), so I mentioned it to my doctor. He gave me prescription vouchers for free meds and canceled one of the CT scans he had planned. A mention of your cost concern wouldn't hurt.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

ECP has been awfully quiet the last few hours. We know he doesn't have a job, so he can't be working. That means he's either passing the stone...or he's DEAD!!!

[Banned_Forever]

You Tube - Your online Dr. Recommends Lemonade to change
the PH level of your urine.

This assists in the melting of the kidney stone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH8C5tzXG7c&feature=related


The Medical Relief Option.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkODhKbaIzg&feature=related

[Bureau Chief]

Orange juice and lemonaide. You gotta get that ph up. OJ and water is about all I drink now. As for the pain question...the pain you are feeling is the kidney contracting while trying to move that rock out...once its out of the kidney, as long as it keeps moving on, the pain will be about over...if its large enough you will feel it when you pass it but thats nothing compared to what you have been having.

Those of you who have been on morphine...I was on it for about a month...and had pretty serious withdrawel and I wasnt even away of it. I was talking to my brother on the phone and was talking at about 100 miles an hour.....and he asked me what was wrong with me....after a day of this, I called the hospital and they told me it was normal as I was coming off the morphine...anybody else have these symptoms? Gees I cant imagine what it would be like if I had a serious addiction and went cold turkey. Yikes!

[east coast producer]

East Coastie needs a little distraction.

Ralphie, you better be a chick if you're calling me "East Coastie."

Ralphie - I'm pleasantly surprised to see a little nonsense from you.

All ECP-sponsored threads are a oasis of friendly comraderie. It's what makes me so great.

ECP has been awfully quiet the last few hours. We know he doesn't have a job, so he can't be working. That means he's either passing the stone...or he's DEAD!!!

Unfortunately, neither scenarios are the case. I'm covering an overnight shift this week for an undisclosed network show, so I did have to sleep at some point. I know you're on here nearly constantly, but after doubling up on my Percocet and with work ahead of me, I had to get some shut eye.

Spike/Another OMB/Others: Thank you for relating your experiences. What I was fearing the most is pain exponential to what I'm feeling now when I p1ss it out. I'm glad to know that it's downhill from here.

Tripe: I still hate you for posting those landmine images.

To whoever screwed up page 3 by causing me to have to scroll right to read mesages: Way to go, jerk!! :-)

All: Feel free to donate to the ECP Health Fund by sending large, unmarked bills or Percocet to East Coast Producer, c/o Medialine Industries, 2389 Openline Highway, Pacific Grove, Calif.

[HushHush]

Orange juice and lemonaide. You gotta get that ph up. OJ and water is about all I drink now. As for the pain question...the pain you are feeling is the kidney contracting while trying to move that rock out...once its out of the kidney, as long as it keeps moving on, the pain will be about over...if its large enough you will feel it when you pass it but thats nothing compared to what you have been having.

Those of you who have been on morphine...I was on it for about a month...and had pretty serious withdrawel and I wasnt even away of it. I was talking to my brother on the phone and was talking at about 100 miles an hour.....and he asked me what was wrong with me....after a day of this, I called the hospital and they told me it was normal as I was coming off the morphine...anybody else have these symptoms? Gees I cant imagine what it would be like if I had a serious addiction and went cold turkey. Yikes!

My dad had morphine after surgery a few years ago - he turned out to be allergic to it and was itchy from head to toe. He told us that itchy feeling was ten times worse than the pain he was in. Within minutes of the drip stopping - the itching stopped.

Hubby was on morphine too.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Ralphie, you better be a chick if you're calling me "East Coastie."

I'm quite comfortable in my manhood.
Enough so that I use a feminine name as my moniker.
Yes, folks, the real life bison, Ralphie, is a girl.
Always has been.

Now get over the East Coastie thing.
It is better than Coaster.
That is something a drink sits upon.

[HushHush]

ECP - I'm glad you're not dead :D Sounds like you're doing a little better this morning too.

[Who Cares???]

Ouch...!!!

This best advice posted here, was posted quite early in the thread... my Doctor also gave me this advice...

Drink lot's of BEER.

The Hops and Barley help soothe the kidney, while the alcohol deadens the pain.... drink a lot. This will help flush out the stone...

I have years of experience with a collection of about two dozen asteroid bastards to prove it...

Of course... continue the use of any and all drugs recieved from medical professionals accordingly... Oh ... the comment about Scotch... Scotch is also good.... as long as you're chasing it with a lot of BEER...!!!

Go to LOUD concerts and sit on the speaker cabinets (In between trips to the BEER tent).... that will help also...

Cabs are good... and lots of breath mints... lots.

[TAFKA wacowx]

Had a friend who had a stone and he passed it during a night of HEAVY beer drinking. He didn't even feel it.

Maybe start drinking a case a day?

[Another OMB]

Awesome. That's the answer I wanted. How long did it take for u from the point God slammed a sledgehammer in your back until it passed?

I can't remember for sure, but I think it was 2 or 3 days from the worst of the pain until I passed the stone. I know I didn't miss an entire week of work, but I think part of the worst of it was over a weekend.

[+SN]

Drink lot's of BEER.

I wouldn't recommend that if by chance anyone has Celiac Disease.

I would however have to say drinking plenty of fluids (as in WATER) is a good idea. It has helped me big time. I drink about 4 to 7 glasses a day. When I lived in Florida, Mississippi and Texas kidney stones were always a problem. Now that I live outside the kidney stone capital of the world :"the dirty south"* everything is much better.

* quoted from 'The Godfather' RAW WWF 1999

Changing your diet can help in the long run and in many ways. Staying away from the salty, high fat/deep fried foods and red meats has worked for me over the last 10 years. I don't drink coffee, colas or tea(all kidney stone producers for me).

Good luck on your recovery. I'll never miss the days of throwing up, being in intense pain and holding out the strainer cup when trying to catch a calcified stone. As other posters have said: 'not being able to sit still while in pain is another thing I certainly don't miss.'

Best wishes,

+SN

[Tripe Face]

Tripe: I still hate you for posting those landmine images.




ECP... I'm genuinely sorry that you are hurting and that my images made matters worse.

Perhaps a little music would help sooth the beast that is wrackin' your kidney today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqBO_65Ih4g&feature=related

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Geeez, that was a lame video to post, Tripe.
Try this one instead.
It has some real jazzy piano for a bed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCM6PoatGng&feature=related

[Banned_Forever]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2007-9/1280504/large_unmarked_bills2.jpg

[east coast producer]

Drink lot's of BEER.

Who Cares/TAFKA: I always drink before I go into work.

You may think I'm kidding. I'm not.

I'll never miss the days of throwing up, being in intense pain and holding out the strainer cup when trying to catch a calcified stone. As other posters have said: 'not being able to sit still while in pain is another thing I certainly don't miss.'

I haven't thrown up (or had the urge to). I don't have a problem being still.. it's moving the muscles on my lower back that send me squealing like a frightened schoolgirl. As long as I keep my back static, I'm okay. What's more is I feel better by moving... I was in some serious pain while at work overnight, but then after walking a half mile to the subway, standing in the car to my connection before finally walking to my car, I felt much better. It's when I lie down for any bit of time then (trying) getting up creates the hell that lasts for hours.

I'm quite comfortable in my manhood.
Enough so that I use a feminine name as my moniker.
Yes, folks, the real life bison, Ralphie, is a girl.
Always has been.

This doesn't clear it up for me. You're comfortable in your manhood AND you're a girl? I'm lost.

ECP... I'm genuinely sorry that you are hurting and that my images made matters worse.

Perhaps a little music would help sooth the beast that is wrackin' your kidney today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqBO_...eature=related

Ha, I expected to be Rick rolled by clicking on your (and Ralphie)'s link.


ECP - I'm glad you're not dead Sounds like you're doing a little better this morning too.

Not really... it's status quo. Like I said above to +SN, moving around makes me feel a lot better.. laying still causes me to feel Death when I move again. I've been guzzling water, but so far nothing.

I'm trying to decide if I want to call out sick for work tomorrow. It's a super-easy day so I'd love to take the easy money... but right now I'm in extreme pain having laid down.. earlier today after moving around and feeling better I decided I'd go in...... I dunno.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Ya know, Coastie, you are zoned out on percs and you are able to pull together multiple quotes from different posters.
Props to you.
That is a skill that Tripe hasn't mastered when he's stone cold sober.

[Bandit]

Had a friend who had a stone and he passed it during a night of HEAVY beer drinking. He didn't even feel it.

Maybe start drinking a case a day? And then re-post in six weeks with ...

Advice: I have 30 pounds to lose. ;)

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I always drink before I go into work.

Considering you're unemployed, you must be the soberest man I know!

[Tripe Face]

Ya know, Coastie,
He said you can only call him that if you are a woman. So Ralphie, is your real name Ralphina? Can you pee standing up?

You are zoned out on percs and you are able to pull together multiple quotes from different posters.

Yes even on drugs he makes more sense than you.


Props to you.
That is a skill that Tripe hasn't mastered when he's stone cold sober.
Hey Prairie Turd. I CAN do it... I choose NOT TO.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Someone once told me that, "Those who choose not to read have no advantage over those who are illiterate."

[east coast producer]

Yes even on drugs he makes more sense than you.

mmmmmmmmmm drugs..

http://www.pharmer.org/files/images/DSC02342.preview.JPG

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Better be careful and eat a lot of fiber or you will be pooping rocks next.
Opiates will bind you up tighter than Dyckerson's date when he's getting sexed.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

Opiates will bind you up tighter than Dyckerson's date when he's getting sexed.


http://sorabji.com/2002/road_trip/north_dakota/jamestown/buffalo_04.jpg

[east coast producer]

Ya know, Coastie, you are zoned out on percs and you are able to pull together multiple quotes from different posters.

What's more, I am also able to give multiple orgasms to several different women at a time.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

What's more, I am also able to give multiple orgasms to several different women at a time.

And here they are:

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/sexy_siamese_twins.jpg

[east coast producer]

Bump for more pity.

[HushHush]

As I sat in the movie theater watching The Dark Knight, I turned to my son and said "I wonder how ECP is doing."

[east coast producer]

Your college-aged son who's in Gainesville comes home to go to the movies with his mother???

[Roy Hobbs]

I squeezed extra lemon juice into my water last night thinking of poor ECP.

[HushHush]

My college aged son who goes to USF comes home so his mom can do his laundry. It was raining - his plans to go to the beach fell through - so he asked if I wanted to go see a movie.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

So how about an update, Coastie.
Has the worst of this passed yet?

[News Is Broken]

My college aged son who goes to USF comes home so his mom can do his laundry.

What a nice mom. I made the mistake of asking my mother how the washing machine worked when I was 6. I did my own laundry from that day on.

[east coast producer]

So how about an update, Coastie.
Has the worst of this passed yet?

It may have. The stone hasn't passed, but the pain has lightened from crippling to a merely debilitating. The pain is still in the same area, so I might have to bite the bullet and pay out for an x-ray.

[News Is Broken]

Dude, this hurts just reading about it. Those infernal little rocks run in my family on BOTH sides... I just KNOW my time is coming.

Do whatever you gotta do to get rid of 'em. I know you're trying to save some money (who isn't these days) but your health is literally priceless. I look at doctors like the mechanic in those Fram commercials. Remember him? "You can pay me now, or you can pay me later." So true! If you think the copays for some x-rays and a test or two suck, wait until you ante up for surgery some time (which is what you just might be doing if you keep putting this off).

Pay it now and start getting better now. Seriously, don't wait.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

There's nothing wrong with him. He's just one of them hypochondriacs. Now cut the crap and get a job.

[east coast producer]

I went back to (another) doctor today hoping for a money-sucking xray. After speakin with the doc (who was HOT, by the way), the diagnosis this time was a sprain in the back. I got "prescription" Aleve (500mg instead of over-the-counter 400mg) and a muscle relaxant.

I still have an appointment with the free union doctor on Thursday, so we'll see what happens then. Maybe I can at least score from narcotic painkillers. Geesh.

[Tripe Face]

I went back to (another) doctor today hoping for a money-sucking xray. After speakin with the doc (who was HOT, by the way), the diagnosis this time was a sprain in the back. I got "prescription" Aleve (500mg instead of over-the-counter 400mg) and a muscle relaxant.

I still have an appointment with the free union doctor on Thursday, so we'll see what happens then. Maybe I can at least score from narcotic painkillers. Geesh.

After all this whining and crying like a little girl it turns out YOU DON'T HAVE *****ING KINDEY STONES????

You have a sprained back? I swear you make Mike Greenberg look macho.

Man up you wimp and quit your complaining.

(what a pussy)

[east coast producer]

After all this whining and crying like a little girl it turns out YOU DON'T HAVE *****ING KINDEY STONES????

Tripe, don't you have some burgers to flip?

I was speaking to the diagnosis from Doctor #1. It's not my fault this (hot) second doctor diagnosed me differently. The huge bulge in the crotch of my pants was probably a, ahem, big distraction. Before ya'll go gay on my ass, let's see what the union doctor says on Wednesday.. Two out of three, right?

[Roy Hobbs]

Heck with the stones, let's hear more about Doctor Desire.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

I got "prescription" Aleve (500mg instead of over-the-counter 400mg) and a muscle relaxant.


You have to be kidding?
This is a joke post, right?
For 50 bucks I could tell you to take 3 OTC generic Alleve tabs every 8 hours.
You would have saved time and money.
And what is the relaxant?
Methacarbomal (Robaxin)?
That works like a charm.

I have had numerous "kidney-stone" episodes like yours and survived pretty well.
But, my pain threshold is off the charts.

[News Is Broken]

Heck with the stones, let's hear more about Doctor Desire.

Seconded. We want details. And pictures.

[Roy Hobbs]

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070503/scifigallery/xfiles_l.jpg

[News Is Broken]

You forgot the caption.
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070503/scifigallery/xfiles_l.jpg

"Hmmm....mmmmhmmm... yes... here's your problem ECP. You have kidney stones."

"Scully... that's his brain x-ray."

"Ah... I see that now. OK. Here's your problem ECP. You sprained your back. That'll be $50."

[east coast producer]

You have to be kidding?
This is a joke post, right?
For 50 bucks I could tell you to take 3 OTC generic Alleve tabs every 8 hours.
You would have saved time and money.
And what is the relaxant?
Methacarbomal (Robaxin)?
That works like a charm.

I have had numerous "kidney-stone" episodes like yours and survived pretty well.
But, my pain threshold is off the charts.

I was taking 3 Aleve (dosage is 2) and 3 tylenol (dosage is 2) before deciding to spend $181 on the urgent care doctor. Keep in mind, I could *not* get out of bed. It hit me suddenly... I wasn't lifting boxes, snowboarding or taking sledgehammer hits to my back. My internet diagnosis, though, was a pinched nerve.

At the urgent care place, the doc made me pee and said there was quite a bit of blood in it. And given my level of pain, he wanted to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital for imaging and treatment. He said, given the enormous amount of pain I was in, that the kidney stone was likely way too big to pass. Given I was uninsured, I decided to let it ride a while... or at least wait and see a day or two and get treatment in Pennsylvania rather than NYC where healthcare is just a SMIDGE pricier.

In the past two days, the pain subsided a lot... I hadn't passed a stone, but it was far more bearable. So I went to a local doctor who gave me naproxen (which I had been taking anyway) and cyclobenaprine (generic for Flexeril).

After taking the Flexeril, I do feel a lot better.. but I also did down another percocet. I *really* want the new doc's diagnosis to be correct.. but since I already have the appt with the union doc Wednesday, might as well see what he thinks since it's free.

I also took out an instant short-term medical policy Thursday before last, so I used it to go to today's doctor. Let's see how that plays out. :)

[east coast producer]

By the way -- IF Doctor #2 is right, I do want to thank every regardless for the kind words and relating your own stories so I didn't feel quite so alone, not knowing what to expect as things progressed.

For those of you rooting for my alleged kidney stone to pass, I'm sorry to disappoint! I was looking forward to taking pictures of it and posting here. :)

[Spike]

At the urgent care place, the doc made me pee and said there was quite a bit of blood in it.

A sprained back doesn't cause bloody urine.

[neodeity]

By the way -- IF Doctor #2 is right, I do want to thank every regardless for the kind words and relating your own stories so I didn't feel quite so alone, not knowing what to expect as things progressed.

For those of you rooting for my alleged kidney stone to pass, I'm sorry to disappoint! I was looking forward to taking pictures of it and posting here. :)

I was hoping to enjoy, vicariously, a "kiss it and make it better moment" between you and Doctor #2; assuming you'd write it in a "mothball-esque" fashion. Wow, I'm bored.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

A sprained back doesn't cause bloody urine.

That is confusing me too.
Something doesn't add up here.
I've tweaked my back many times and never had blood.

[News Is Broken]

I don't think it's either kidney stones or a sprained back. I think it's marfans. However, to be sure of this diagnosis I'm going to refer you to our specialist, Dr. Mockingbird. Until then, here's a script for some Flintstones Chewables and a note for your boss putting you on light duty for the next 2 weeks.

That'll be $150, and no, I don't take your crappy fly-by-nite insurance.

[Another side]

I want to return to the mythical kidney stones for a minute ... someone educate me ... why is necessary to pee through a strainer (as a couple of people said) to catch the stones. Why not just flush them?

And since it's sure to come up, I'll ask now: do you also have to pee through a strainer if you have a back strain?

This has been a very confusing thread.

[News Is Broken]

I want to return to the mythical kidney stones for a minute ... someone educate me ... why is necessary to pee through a strainer (as a couple of people said) to catch the stones. Why not just flush them?

And since it's sure to come up, I'll ask now: do you also have to pee through a strainer if you have a back strain?

This has been a very confusing thread.

I'm not 100% sure but I think it's something they teach doctors in med school to use on new patients as a hazing ritual. Kinda like sending the new cute little freckle faced intern running frantically all over the station for a box of color bars. That sort of thing.

Having said that, if I was your doctor I wouldn't make you pee thru a strainer for back strain. The correct hazing ritual for that is to make you lie flat on an ice-cold xray table wearing nothing but that stupid tie-in-the-back, one-size-fits-none, everyone-can-see-your-butt gown.

[east coast producer]

@Another Side: The reason people pee through strainers is so the stone can be analyzed to find out its makeup. Some are common, some are less common... some are extremely rare.. Depending on the type, the can be meds to prevent another occurrence.

And no, neither Kidney Stone Doctor nor Back Sprain Doctor told me to pee in a strainer.

[Another side]

Thank you. Thank you both very much.

I had no idea those troublesome rocks came in a variety of species, and was completely unaware of proper hazing techniques for back strain patients.

The education was much more than I'd hoped for.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

The reason people pee through strainers is so the stone can be analyzed to find out its makeup.

I hope you rinse out your strainer the next time you use it for your Ramen noodles.

[Spike]

I was hoping to enjoy, vicariously, a "kiss it and make it better moment" between you and Doctor #2...

We're talking about urology. Kiss what exactly?

I want to return to the mythical kidney stones for a minute ... someone educate me ... why is necessary to pee through a strainer (as a couple of people said) to catch the stones. Why not just flush them?

In addition to what ECP said, some of the rarer types of stones can indicate kidney disease. If you have that type of stone, it's really in your best interest for your doctor to find out about it.

You use the strainer because some people actually don't realize they've passed their stone. Sometimes they hurt like a mother when first making their presence known, then later slide right on out without the victim feeling it go through the tube.

[HushHush]

ECP ... be sure the Union Doc tests your BUN and Creatinine levels when you're there. Blood in the urine isn't good ... and those two levels will tell the doc if there are any issues with your kidney function. I don't care if he tells you they're not necessary .... or if you think the test is expensive. Just do it!

[Another side]

We're talking about urology. Kiss what exactly?



In addition to what ECP said, some of the rarer types of stones can indicate kidney disease. If you have that type of stone, it's really in your best interest for your doctor to find out about it.

You use the strainer because some people actually don't realize they've passed their stone. Sometimes they hurt like a mother when first making their presence known, then later slide right on out without the victim feeling it go through the tube.

You know, some of you guys have really taken the fun out of passing a kidney stone.

[east coast producer]

... slide right on out without the victim feeling it go through the tube.

By "tube," Spike means penis. PENIS!

[east coast producer]

ECP ... be sure the Union Doc tests your BUN and Creatinine levels when you're there. Blood in the urine isn't good ... and those two levels will tell the doc if there are any issues with your kidney function. I don't care if he tells you they're not necessary .... or if you think the test is expensive. Just do it!

All tests are free at the union health center. I'm pretty sure the doc's a dude though, so I don't really want him testing my BUNs.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

By "tube," Spike means penis. PENIS!

What, are you doing my jokes now?? Get your own material!

[Mighty Dyckerson]

All tests are free at the union health center.

Great, now you have first year med students using you for practice. Don't be surprised if Dr. Doogie is listening to his iPod while giving you your diagnosis. In fact, he'll probably come in dressed like this:

http://208.112.59.49/ProductImages/ALT00.jpg

[Spike]

By "tube," Spike means penis. PENIS!

Women do not grow penises when they have a kidney stone.

[HushHush]

I think when Spike says "tube" he means urethra. There's all sorts of diagrams online ... just google the term if you don't know what it means ;)

[east coast producer]

What, are you doing my jokes now?? Get your own material!

I've been doing jokes since 7 years after you were born, and they're FAR FUNNIER.

Penis!

[east coast producer]

Women do not grow penises when they have a kidney stone.

I am not a woman. Just take a look at my cock:

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b38/eascoastproducer/myc0ck.jpg

[Mighty Dyckerson]

I think when Spike says "tube" he means urethra. There's all sorts of diagrams online ... just google the term if you don't know what it means ;)

What's up with you? Did you go out and get a medical degree between Biggest Loser auditions??

[TVMattNYC]

I don't think it's either kidney stones or a sprained back. I think it's marfans. However, to be sure of this diagnosis I'm going to refer you to our specialist, Dr. Mockingbird. Until then, here's a script for some Flintstones Chewables and a note for your boss putting you on light duty for the next 2 weeks.


"Light duty" is only for the pregnant employees.

Didn't you get the memo?

White men in debilitating pain don't count.

[HushHush]

What's up with you? Did you go out and get a medical degree between Biggest Loser auditions??

Stop being a jerk. :mad2:

ETA: Please.

[Quagmire]

I had to have a kidney biopsy recently due to blood in the urine. I did the full spectrum of tests before hand...KUB xray, blood tests, urine collection, prostate exam, PSA test, etc. In the end, I got about 10k worth of bills and a diagnosis of IGA Nephropathy, and not even a serious case. I was VERY concerned about the hospital stuff, but in the end, the worst part was the IV. I really liked the stuff they gave me to knock me out, went right asleep, woke back up when it was done, no after effects.

[east coast producer]

DAY 15

I have concluded today that Doctor Two provided the correct diagnosis and that Doctor One was a nutjob who nevertheless hooked me up with potent narcotic painkillers -- and for that, I will be forever thankful.

The pain has significantly diminished over the days, and it is now virtually gone unless I really try to make it hurt. No stone passed, so I believe Doctor Two's diagnosis of me somehow managing to severely sprain my back -- while asleep -- was correct.

Dyck, you can quit with the lame kidney stone jokes.

Again, thanks all who shared their experiences. Glad it was you and not me!!

[Jane Craig]

Good to hear you're mending, ECP -- and very glad Doc #2 was right!

[Mighty Dyckerson]

The pain has significantly diminished over the days, and it is now virtually gone unless I really try to make it hurt.

Ah yes, you're in the calm-before-the-storm phase. Several days - possibly weeks - before passing a stone, you often feel perfectly fine. Then all of the sudden, the pain hits you like a mack truck. A pain so excrutiating, so mind-numbingly agonizing, you'll be looking desperately for a way to end your life. In fact, the better you feel, the worse the pain will be. May God have mercy on your worthless soul.

[s'news]

If it hasn't been said already, and even if it has ... this too shall pass.

[east coast producer]

White men in debilitating pain don't count.

I'm black.

[east coast producer]

Ah yes, you're in the eye-before-the-storm phase.

That makes no sense.

Since I'm on the topic of comments from others that make no sense, let's look at your sig line.

"It's 11:05, and we still have 3 internal breaks AND an endbreak!!!"

How can a show producer with a modicum of experience stress that network is pushing 5 minutes into your show? You can't gut 5 minutes of it? I used to work for a CBS as my second gig producing weekend and three weekday shows. CBS sports would often run late.. forcing me to condense the newscast by as much as 15 minutes before it hit the time that network would cover the balance. Cutting 15 minutes isn't fun, but 5 minutes is a cake walk.

[east coast producer]

Also, everyone please be aware I will keep you immediately informed of any future health hiccups.

Since this advice thread proved so immensely popular in views -- rivaling Top This -- I am in the planning stages of a new thread so you all can help me chose a new major credit card. But with two advice threads (See "Advice: Help govern my Facebook nation) going right now, I'm pacing myself.

[Spike]

That makes no sense.

Yeah actually it does. I had my kidney stone for three months. I had stretches of weeks at a time when I hardly felt a thing. Then it would move.

Your description of your current condition is not inconsistent with a kidney stone.

[TVMattNYC]

I'm with Boo on this.

A sprained back does not cause blood in the urine.

Get a third opinion. Now.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

That makes no sense.

Listen to Boo! But you are correct. It should have said "calm-before-the-storm" or perhaps "eye-of-the-hurricane." I have made the necessary edit. Please forgive me, I feel so silly. But at least I don't have a rock in my cock.


How can a show producer with a modicum of experience stress that network is pushing 5 minutes into your show?

You'll have to take that up with Le Bague De Douche. I don't stack shows for a living.

[TVMattNYC]

"It's 11:05, and we still have 3 internal breaks AND an endbreak!!!"

Unless your three internal breaks are 10 minutes each, I don't see the problem here.

CUT the show down.

Start with sports. Then with weather (no one needs TWO hits of the weather fluff boy in one half-hour).

Then drop the C block.

Start carving away at the B block.

The only real "news" you're running is the first five minutes of the A block anyway.

This is not brain surgery.

[east coast producer]

Yeah actually it does. I had my kidney stone for three months. I had stretches of weeks at a time when I hardly felt a thing. Then it would move.

Your description of your current condition is not inconsistent with a kidney stone.

I hate you. Not as much as when Tripe posted those landmine-shaped stones, but close. :)

After Doctor One diagnosed me (and remember, there wasn't a confirmation since I didn't heed his advice to go to the ER for imaging and treatment), I researched symptoms and such. The Nat'l Institute of Health and other medical web sites say the symptoms include *constant* pain. If I would not move, it wouldn't hurt. Only when I used my lower back muscles. That's why Doctor Two ruled it a sprain.

But, Mr. Spike, you've seem to be a fairly intelligent individual. Perhaps I will revive the thread if it returns, but for now, I'm going to convince myself I caused a sprain with days of crippling pain while sleeping... somehow. :)

Also, I've since been approved for private health insurance starting Sept. 1, so this POSSIBLE pre-existing condition never happened! SHHH PEOPLE!!

:hug:

[east coast producer]

I'm with Boo on this.

A sprained back does not cause blood in the urine.

Get a third opinion. Now.

I just did, and I'm told you must perform medicinal kidney massages on me for 30 minutes every hour. Stat.

[HushHush]

Also, I've since been approved for private health insurance starting Sept. 1, so this POSSIBLE pre-existing condition never happened! SHHH PEOPLE!!

:hug:

Lucky dog! Unfortunately my pre-existing condition won't ever go away ... and I keep getting denied for individual coverage. Bastard Health Insurance companies! If this last company doesn't come through for me .. I'm gonna cry again.

[east coast producer]

Lie.

And the baby I allegedly put in your belly won't be there forever, hun.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

And the baby I allegedly put in your baby won't be there forever, hun.

You put a baby in her baby??! I've heard of robbing the cradle, but that's just sick. (Was she hot at least?)

[east coast producer]

You put a baby in her baby??! I've heard of robbing the cradle, but that's just sick. (Was she hot at least?)

Quit editing my posts. It's immature.

[Mighty Dyckerson]

Quit editing my posts. It's immature.


You're right, I don't know what came over me.

_______________________________________
Last edited by YOU'VE BEEN POONED! : Today at 04:54 PM.

[east coast producer]

You're right, I don't know what came over me.

_______________________________________
Last edited by YOU'VE BEEN POONED! : Today at 04:54 PM.

Suck my straw.

[Ralphie the buffalo]

Update time please.

[Roy Hobbs]

Yes...on Hot Doctor #2.

[Angel's Hell]

So what's the current deal on the stone? I know that blood in the urine is a stone so whomever ruled it a sprain should go away. If you have insurance (no I think) call them and say what happened and say they should only pay a third of what he billed. A bad dx can be serious business!