Fun news analogies...

[Stack It]

Post your good analogies about the television business. Just looking to have a little bit of fun for the holiday.

Here's mine: Television is just like a sewage overflow, **** always floats to the top.

[ISTHISTHINGON?]

Those who can't.....consult.

[The Thrill]

When news breaks...so does our gear.

OR...

News: what happens while you set up your tripod.

OR...

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/gettowork.jpg

(Or any of the stuff here. (http://www.despair.com/viewall.html))

[Who Cares???]

Why let facts get in the way of a good story...???


Wait... that's not an analogy...

[Spike]

I posted this once before in greater detail, but I can't seem to locate it.

A newsroom is structured in a very similar manner to the crew of the Pequod, the whaling ship in Moby Dick. Consider whales to be news stories, and the ship the newsroom. The spotters who look for the whales are the assignment desk. When whales are spotted, boats (news trucks) are sent out from the ship to kill them. Each boat contains a mate (reporter) who guides the boat to the whale and a harpooner (photog) who harpoons (shoots) the whale (story). Once the whale is acquired, it is taken back to the ship (newsroom), where the harpooner hangs off the side of the ship and cuts up (edits) the whale.

Presiding over it all is the insane Captain Ahab (tyrannical news director). And remember that the ship itself is doomed (just like many television newsrooms).

[!]

Wow, Spike, if my experience in TV news was anything like yours, I woulda quit, too.

[vuphinder]

This one is a bit lengthy...

A reporter and photographer were walking through an open field looking for a story one day...They spot a sheep whose head is caught in the fence up ahead.
The reporter looks around and says, "No one is watching..lets have some fun!" He proceeds to pull down his pants and have his way with the sheep.
When he finishes, he stands up and turns to the photographer and says "OK, your turn!"
The photographer looks around, pulls down his pants....bends over and sticks his head in the fence and asks, "Is it gonna hurt?"



Just how I felt when working with some reporters.

[The Fedora]

omg. that cracked me up.

at least you aren't at my old shop across the street... it wouldn't be just from the reporters then. :D

[Sir Dropham Pants]

On a recent trip, I took special notice of the fact that every single passenger on the airplane was ignoring the flight attendant's important speech about "the safety features of this airline." It struck me that she must feel the way I felt toward the end of my time in TV news. Something important to say, but no one's paying attention. People probably think being a flight attendant is a cool job, just as some people think being in the news biz is a "cool job." Maybe it is - maybe I just got tired of reciting the same speech over and over again and serving very small drinks to ungrateful customers.

[Another OMB]

Wow, Sir Dropham Pants. That's a good observation. It's not one I've thought of before but I think it's very apt. How many of us have done a story only to have a producer, or even the news director, say something a few days later about how we should do a story on the subject you just covered? "I just did that story last week." "Oh, that's right, I forgot." It doesn't happen too often, but if WE can't even remember the stories we do, what makes us think our stories are going to have such a huge impact on our viewers?

I'm sure we've all gotten phone calls or emails from viewers, too, who see one of our stories and either: a) complain about something that wasn't even IN our story, or b) ask a question that we clearly answered in our story.

It's like what Wayne Friedman (a reporter) has said about his thinking he was doing these awesome, insightful, impactful stories, and his family will comment about his tie or his hair. He also said we need to remember that a majority of our audience is doing something else while watching the news, whether it's cooking dinner, talking to the kids or something else around the house.

So in a way, I think you're right. We are like the flight attendants giving the safety speech and being ignored.

[ewink]

News is like a white house intern. It's fat, ugly and sucks.

[Sir Dropham Pants]

It's like what Wayne Friedman (a reporter) has said about his thinking he was doing these awesome, insightful, impactful stories, and his family will comment about his tie or his hair.


It took me a while; probably a few years in the news business before I stopped bringing tapes of my "best" stories with me on holidays and family visits. I thought of all people, my immediate family could appreciate them. After all, they saw me busting my ass trying to find a job, going to the station at all hours to better myself during my internship. Now here it is, my hard work on teevee - name CGs and everything. Hair and ties. That's all they saw. Even when I was shooting, I'd bring stories I'd shot especially well; or stories that were particularly interesting. They'd watch for :30 and wander off to something else.
I tried very hard to let that little experience not color the way I did my job. Shoot, write, edit each story as if people are clinging to every word. I kept that work ethic right up until my last day in the news room when I grabbed the proverbial floating seat cushion and bailed the hell out.