You just lost your family, now talk to us dammit!!

[amp]

So, in our market, we have a family that lost three family members to a major house fire last week. Today, we got to talk to 3 of the survivors. The father of one of the victims, and two of his teenage relatives. Those two teenagers jumped off the 2 story roof to escape the flames. One of them was holding an infant. Needless to say, this was the interview everyone was wanting to get. Luckily, we got it exclusively for 5 and 6pm. After we air our interview, the two other stations in town go out for their turn.

Apparently, someone got it in their minds that we convinced the family not to talk to everyone else. Not so. In my opinion, the more the family talks, the more people would hear their story and want to help them out. So, we later hear from the family that they decided they probably won't talk to the other stations because they were so abrasive and rude when demanding their turn to interview the family.

Now, I've been on the other side of an exclusive interview. But I NEVER act like an a$$ because my management is pressuring me to get the interview.

You can attract just as many flies with sugar as you can with $hit.

[Signature on File]

Terrible shame!

[Tripe Face]

I agree about your standard for getting such interviews. You make sure they know you are open to such an interview and leave a phone number and politely back off.

Some families want to talk about their loved ones... they want us to know about these people they love.

Others want to grieve in private. All we can do is ask and treat the family with respect.

[Lazlo Toth]

My rule:

Sure you're a reporter. But be a human being first.

[ISTHISTHINGON?]

I recently did a story with a woman who lost her son in a convience store robbery(he was the clerk). I told her I'd like viewers to know about the victim too, since we had only been talking about the suspect, and politely backed off. She saw the honesty, gave me the interview....then called back after the story aired. Her comment was something to the extent of "thank you for telling my son's story...you let the world see what it just lost..."
She was very compassionate about it, and asked for a copy for keepsake.

[imported_Mr. Vengeance]

Three words: get...there...first.

And don't get caught up in the emotion of intruding on the family's feelings---somebody's gonna call the family's phone, or knock on the family's door, and ask for the interview. It might as well be you (or, as management would put it---it HAD BETTER BE YOU, OR ELSE).

[rawhead rex]

I concur, Mr. Vengeance. There is no room for sentimentalism in the business of chronicling pop culture. If you can't handle it, read the classifieds. If you don't handle it, you will definitely be reading the classifieds.

[Soul Doubt]

Yeah, 12 is horrible with that.

[Another side]

Originally posted by ISTHISTHINGON?:
I recently did a story with a woman who lost her son in a convience store robbery(he was the clerk). I told her I'd like viewers to know about the victim too, since we had only been talking about the suspect, and politely backed off. She saw the honesty, gave me the interview....then called back after the story aired. Her comment was something to the extent of "thank you for telling my son's story...you let the world see what it just lost..."
She was very compassionate about it, and asked for a copy for keepsake.I once worked for an ND who would have charged her $35 for the dub. Seriously.

[Signature on File]

What about being at a fire and a person walks up and ask if you have any information on the victims? I was at a scene once and a guy asked that question, I told him that three were dead,...a mother and two young children. The father was away at work......it turns out the guy that walked up and asked the question was THE FATHER! :eek:

[Bureau Chief]

HR, I experienced that very thing once too. NEVER EVER will I give out any info now, I direct them to the nearest cop or the command post. Damn I felt like crap after that.

[amp]

Originally posted by Soul Doubt:
Yeah, 12 is horrible with that.(Hand pointing at nose) Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! You are correct, sir!

[jrat33]

I used to run into the problem a lot. A story would run in the paper, and since it was in the paper, we had to do it as well. When I would call to talk to the person that did an interview with the paper, many times they would say they didn't want to do any more interviews. My assignment editor used to say "They talked to the paper, they have to talk to us." I would gently remind her they don't HAVE to do anything but pay taxes and die.

Nobody HAS to talk to you if they don't want to. It may make them look bad if they don't, but they don't have to do anything.

[Clever Login Name]

Originally posted by jrat33:

Nobody HAS to talk to you if they don't want to. It may make them look bad if they don't, but they don't have to do anything.Unless you are, in fact, the boss of them.

Why yes, yes I do have small children.

[jrat33]

Originally posted by Clever Login Name:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by jrat33:

Nobody HAS to talk to you if they don't want to. It may make them look bad if they don't, but they don't have to do anything.Unless you are, in fact, the boss of them.

Why yes, yes I do have small children.</font>[/QUOTE]Well, OK you got me there.

Journalistically speaking, no one has to talk to you.

If you're ten, however, and your mom wants to know if you broke her favorite vase, you better speak up and blame it on the dog.

[Focker]

Originally posted by jrat33:
My assignment editor used to say "They talked to the paper, they have to talk to us." I would gently remind her they don't HAVE to do anything but pay taxes and die. And if I said that to one of my NDs, he'd say, "And I don't have to let you keep working here. It's your job to get them to talk."

Now, I have thankfully run across victim's families who understand I have a job to do...but it's the hardest part of the job IMHO. And I have had family members thank me for putting the vic's story on the air.

We, as reporters, tend to be psychiatrists at times...therapists if you will. Some people just need to talk, to get it out. Then again, some people see us as intruders. Anyway, I remember the former people the most...who also call after the story airs and thank me.

And if I see they are on the fence about talking (let's say it's a robbery/murder victim's family), I say, "You know, police need all the help they can to find this person. It's been my experience that the more someone talks about what happened, the more apt someone will come forward with information." or, I go with the "We want to tell everyone about the person you lost". Ain't we the manipulators! graemlins/face_banghead.gif Then again, it's my job, and I did it all too well sometimes. :(

[Fake Post]

I once worked a quadruple fatality where all members of the family were dacapitated when they slid into a truck, shearing off their roof.

Another reporter on the scene talked to the driver of the truck and yes, you guessed it, asked that driver, "how do you feel?"

[jrat33]

Originally posted by Focker:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by jrat33:
My assignment editor used to say "They talked to the paper, they have to talk to us." I would gently remind her they don't HAVE to do anything but pay taxes and die. And if I said that to one of my NDs, he'd say, "And I don't have to let you keep working here. It's your job to get them to talk."

</font>[/QUOTE]But there are times when you can't get them to talk or they've been burned by the press before and they refuse. What then?

My point is, nobody has to do anything. Yes, a reporter's responsibility is to get them to talk, but sometimes, no amount of asking/demanding is going to work.

[Lazlo Toth]

Let me turn the question around. After your experience in TV news, would you talk if you were in the same situation? If your loved one just died, would you do an interview?

I go back and forth on that one. Sometimes I think I would and sometimes I think I wouldn't. Mostly I think I would not.

[Focker]

Originally posted by jrat33:
But there are times when you can't get them to talk or they've been burned by the press before and they refuse. What then?

My point is, nobody has to do anything. Yes, a reporter's responsibility is to get them to talk, but sometimes, no amount of asking/demanding is going to work.
I hear ya, jrat. I know it, you know it, everyone else knows it...I just don't know if NDs, APs, and AEs know it.
smile.gif
As for Lazlo's post, it depends on the situation. If we're trying to find a killer, most definitely. If it was a multi-car accident or something, dunno. If it was a house explosion that was caused by natural gas and I wanted to make sure it didn't happen to someone else, probably.

[ January 17, 2007, 11:23 AM: Message edited by: Focker ]

[imported_Mr. Vengeance]

How many nail-biters have you experienced in this situation: you get back from the tragic scene, unsuccessful in your every attempt to get a family member to speak to you. You sense the deadline pressure, decide to go with your dramatic b-roll and cop/firefighter sound, and get your story on the air ASAP.

If your ND sees a family member (even a distant cousin...it still counts) on another station's newscast instead of your own, you are TOAST.

[thenewsleader12345]

I too have often thought to myself: If a family member were involved in a tragedy.. and my parents came to me (the news person) and said: "reporters are coming by..should I talk to them?"
I would tell them: "No. We dont need the whole world seeing our pain. Thats not whats best for the family..."

[The Mockingbird]

The great part about interviewing people who have just gone through a hostage crisis: if you point guns at them, they're more likely to do what you say, since they're often broken in, mentally.

It makes getting that interview a breeze, but make sure you do it before they finish their therapy!

[amp]

Originally posted by happynews:
I too have often thought to myself: If a family member were involved in a tragedy.. and my parents came to me (the news person) and said: "reporters are coming by..should I talk to them?"
I would tell them: "No. We dont need the whole world seeing our pain. Thats not whats best for the family..."I would talk. I want the city to know the things about them that I loved. For those who knew them before they died, it would be a loving tribute.

That's really what I try to aim to do when I have to knock on the door of someone who died. A video tribute to their loved one. Not only does it help the healing (with most people) it makes for great news.

A story that makes the viewer feel something real is better than a thousand investigative reports.

[s'news]

Originally posted by Lazlo Toth:
Let me turn the question around. After your experience in TV news, would you talk if you were in the same situation? If your loved one just died, would you do an interview?

I go back and forth on that one. Sometimes I think I would and sometimes I think I wouldn't. Mostly I think I would not.Yep.

[Sir Dropham Pants]

This discussion points out (at least to me) how important it can be to have a manager; assgn editor or ND who's been there. Someone who's been in the field as a reporter or a photog, who's had to make those calls, knock on those doors, sit calmly in that living room watching some else's lives fall apart, get the job done and be a human at the same time. Some one can understand what it takes, but not understand what it's like to have to really ask that question. The question has to be asked, it matters not when it comes to that. I think it becomes a matter of respect within the newsroom.

[11-Evil]

Do you want the entire story or a 7 second sound bite? I wouldnt talk because I know what would be used in the story AND the POP after the fact.

[Another side]

As a manager, I never was convinced -- despite what the competition had -- that same-day sound from relatives or family members added much to the story. The viewer knows how they feel -- they feel like they just lost a loved one.

In those rare instances where I thought it might be relevant, I'd ask the reporter the next day to place a phone call to the family to ask permission to come by and who it is that might be speaking on behalf of the family.

If the reporter had no success, I'd ask him or her to call the funeral home and ask which family member was handling arrangements and whether the funeral director believed that person was in the frame of mind to handle a media interview. Often, the funeral director, himself, would place the call to the family member and help pave the way.

But again, I've never seen any proof that immediate interviews with the families of victims add much at all to the story, and if the reporter can't get them in thse rare ocassions when it might, then it was "Thanks for trying" and on to the next story.

[amp]

Another side, I respectfully disagree. Hearing someone's story on how they survived a horrible fire or how they will go on after losing someone is compelling. I do agree that doing it the next day is better. Also, the first time you make contact, face to face is just better. Not only is it more genuine, but it is harder to say no to someone who is there. After that first face to face meeting, you have built some trust, and then you can call. Always remember, be respectful no matter how you contact the family.

[ZuZu's Petals]

I had an EP who kept a little typed piece of paper taped to his computer "Go and ask for the interview in person." It made me fume a little because he was the one sitting on his arse all day ordering the rest of us to do the dirty work.

Okay, I've told this story before, but it's relevant:

When my sister was murdered in 1985, I was still in High School. The day they found her body (she'd been missing for 16 days) a one man band reporter came out to our house - a 50-min drive from the town with tv stations - asking my dad for an interview. Some relatives were there - and my dad just wasn't ready. He said no. She asked if there was a picture of my sister that she could use on the air... and Dad let her in the house to shoot the senior picture on the wall.
While she was inside, she did what any of us would do... she gave the pitch Focker described, and asked if he was sure he didn't want to answer a few questions.

Again, Dad said no. Then my uncle stood up, looked at the tripod and camera gear and said, "Gee that stuff looks heavy, let me help you get it out to the car." graemlins/icon_pray.gif

She knew the answer then... and I always figure if she went to her ND or EP with that exchange, the ND or EP might actually get it!

[sportzchick]

My family went through something public once.
We opted to not talk to the media right away as I know how SOT's can be shortened/edited due to time constraints and we feared the actual message being lost or taken out of context.
Also I know that sometimes when you are in the heat of it all your thoughts can be scrambled.
We weren't sure we even wanted to talk to the media at all.
So we took our time and figured out which station/reporter we trusted the most to tell "our side" of the story and ended up getting our own mini-pack instead of a :15 SOT.

[Lazlo Toth]

I repeat the rule by which I try to operate.

Be a human being first.

[Another side]

Originally posted by amp:
Another side, I respectfully disagree. Hearing someone's story on how they survived a horrible fire or how they will go on after losing someone is compelling. I do agree that doing it the next day is better. Also, the first time you make contact, face to face is just better. Not only is it more genuine, but it is harder to say no to someone who is there. After that first face to face meeting, you have built some trust, and then you can call. Always remember, be respectful no matter how you contact the family.No problem ... different strokes, etc., etc. But I will add this: in life or in news, it's always appropriate to call before you visit. If you modify that to heighten your chances of getting an interview, all you've really done is cut the humanity out of a situation that may call for it the most.

But again, that's based on my fundamental belief that immediate sound from the victim's family doesn't add much of anything to the story.

[amp]

Originally posted by Lazlo Toth:
I repeat the rule by which I try to operate.

Be a human being first.Exactly LT. I've unfortunately worked with some people who I swore sold their humanity to the devil for good hair.